A Not So Special Naruto Special
by katskee
Summary: A Naruto Special: Battle in the Hidden Falls parody. Warning on some random stupidity, some random guestings, some random rude language, and some random mild slash.


**A NOT-SO-SPECIAL NARUTO SPECIAL **

by squidward

**SUMMARY:** A Naruto Special: Battle in the Hidden Falls parody. Warning on some random stupidity, some random guestings, some random rude language, and some random mild slash.

**RATING: **PG-13

**DISCLAIMER: **I do not own Naruto and any of its characters.

[Inserts excitedly a pirated VCD labeled "Naruto Special" in the VCD player]

[PLAY]

[Video starts: "Asu no egao no tame ni…"]

[The Author and her Onii-chan: What the fck…?]

[blatant cursing]

[Gatekeepers music video ends]

[Naruto Special starts]

[The Author and her Onii-chan: sheer bliss]

Naruto, Sasuke and Sakura were again having a not-so-secret and not-so-adventurous mission with the hottie Kakashi-sensei and some random client who by an unknown strike of coincidence always carried the Action-Packed Battle in the Hidden Falls Episode Plot.

"Would it be advisable to let this story be told from a third person's point of view and not from Sakura's? She would be doing nothing if this continues," Sasuke grumbled while evading the author's murderous arms.

_(SasukexSakura shippers: Yay! He cares!)_

"Hey, why did you speak first? I'm supposed to be the main protagonist here!" Naruto barked angrily.

_(NarutoxSasuke shippers: Yay! He's jealous!)_

"Don't bother, my dear Sasuke. Because of you I already have a line!" Sakura replied gratefully.

_(Anti-Sakura Club a.k.a. Sasuke-Is-Ours Association: Yay! She's useless!)_

"Okay kids," the hottie Kakashi-sensei interrupted. "The Action-Packed Battle In The Hidden Falls Episode Plot will soon start so I have to leave now and I'll promise to be back when the Action-Packed Battle In The Hidden Falls Episode Plot is concluded. Mata ja ne!" and with that the hottie Kakashi-sensei disappeared into thin air.

The three Konoha ninjas turned to their random client who suspiciously looked that his name was Shibuki. They were surprised to see that he was holding a bear-like hound.

"Where did that come from?" Naruto asked curiously.

"Oh, from the staff. They said we needed a dog shit somewhere for the punchline," Shibuki explained cheerfully.

"Shhhhhiiiibuuuuukiiiii-sammaaaaaaa!!!!!!!"

"Here comes the hostages," Sasuke muttered as he watched the two kids running to Shibuki-kun.

"We became hostages too, remember?" Sakura said, who was very delighted that she was given a line earlier than she expected.

"Stop that! You're spoiling the story!" Naruto hissed angrily. "Don't go telling people that we will be protecting the Hidden Falls village's secret weapon called the Hero's Condensed Milk which can only be extracted from a super mad cow that roams the earth only once in every century and which can also increase your chakra tenfold but will also kill you if you are a natural weakling like Shibuki-kun who will drink a drop of it and though he is a coward will fight Suien the shinobi who betrayed their village in order to get the Hero's condensed milk but he will be defeated and Suien will drink the Hero's Condensed milk and will fight me and Sasuke with a ten-times-stronger chakra yet we will still defeat him because we are the heroes in this story so we will all live happily ever after in the end!"

"Look out! The Hero's-Condensed-Milk-obsessed shinobis are here!" Shibuki cried and Sasuke pulled out his four-bladed boomerang from his cute-sized pocket and coolly defeated the random Hero's-Condensed-Milk-obsessed shinobis.

(Sakura and the Sasuke Forever Fan Club Planet Earth Chapter: Sasuke-kun, kakoi!!!)

"Wait! I forgot to _accidentally_ step on a dog shit!" Naruto exclaimed so he frantically searched the area for a dog shit, found one, and dramatically smashed his right foot on it.

(Two kids: Hoorah! Punchline supported!)

"Konoha brats, you have to leave now because my line says so!" Shibuki demanded.

"Okay, we will turn to leave. We'll just wait for a moment for the plot to arrive," Sasuke said coolly. They waited and waited and after ten stationary weeks a middle-aged woman appeared from the bushes.

"Okaa-san!!!" the two kids, who always speak in unison, cried.

"Shi-shibuki-s-sama, y-you haave t-to s-starrt th-the A-Action-Packed Bat-ttle in th-the Hidden Fa-Falls Episoooode p-p-p-plot noooowww!" breathed the wounded middle-aged woman with difficulty who was, again, by an unknown strike of coincidence, the mother of the two brats.

Shibuki looked worriedly at the wounded woman and turned to the wailing kids and to Sakura, "Now Sakura, start doing the only worthwhile thing that you will do in this story. Cure this woman!"

"Hai!" Sakura heeded and started tending the wounded woman's wound.

"Nice alliteration," Naruto complimented.

"Th-thank you," the author replied blankly, slightly shaking her head in pity of Naruto's shallow sense of alliteration appreciation.

"Stupid rhyme," Sasuke grunted while eluding a dozen of shurikens the author was throwing at him.

"Easy now guys. I already brought you to the secret entrance of the Hidden Falls village!" Shibuki announced jovially.

"Whoa!" Naruto and Sasuke exclaimed in awe as they look at the majestic waterfalls in front of them.

"Don't tell me the secret entrance to the Hidden Falls village is actually behind a falls!" Naruto blurted excitedly.

"The surprise of the century," Sasuke mumbled cunningly like Simon Cowell.

"Minna-san, iko!" Shibuki called with mounting enthusiasm. Naruto and Sasuke, who surprisingly lost all of their knowledge in Nihongo, followed him uncertainly into the falls. After a few minutes of running and a considerable moment of swimming exercise the three ninjas finally reached the Hidden Falls village.

"Whoa!" Naruto exclaimed admiringly.

"Look out! The Hero's-Condensed-Milk-Obsessed shinobis are here!" Shibuki cried shamefully for he already said that line a while ago.

"Okay, now is my turn again to shine. Naruto, take Shibuki-kun into a safe place while I take care of these Hero's-Condensed-Milk-Obsessed shinobis," Sasuke said in a very heroic manner that could rival that of Shaider-the-galaxy-police's. Naruto stared at Sasuke, being reminded of his favorite childhood hero and battling himself if it would be a great idea to get his autograph but was brought back again to earth when he saw two shinobis approaching. Mentally noting that he should ask for Sasuke's autograph later, he dived back to the lake and followed Shibuki.

"May the force be with you," Sasuke said with Luke Skywalker's aura surrounding him, making the shinobis stop and watch him with awe. Sasuke took advantage of this opportunity and began his attack. After a few seconds of fighting scene Suien arrived and the no-one-has-a-single-clue plot started to uncover.

"Hand me now the Hero's Condensed Milk if you wanted me to spare you from being tied by this specially made rope and being hostaged together with the entire village which would be saved from my clutches in the end anyway!"

But Sasuke shook his head and faced Suien squarely, "No, I wanted to be tied, I'm pretty tired you see. I could do with some hanging up. I'll just fight you later when Shibuki cuts the rope to free me." Suien, also sensing Luke Skywalker's aura in Sasuke, gave the sharingan boy a salute and diplomatically commanded his shinobis to tie Sasuke up.

On the other hand Shibuki was already holding the plot. "Naruto, this is the Hero's Condesed Milk the Hero's-Condensed-Milk-Obsessed shinobis were looking for. When you drink this, your chakra would increase tenfold!"

"Whoa!" was all Naruto could say.

"Don't you have any more sensible remark?" Shibuki snapped irritably.

"Yeah, sorry," said Naruto. He peered at the village from their hiding place and watched the not-so-progressing proceedings. "They hostaged the whole village and even my teammates. I'll wait for Suien's countdown before I'll come down."

"By the way, Suien was a former ninja here. I'll bet you everything he betrayed us," Shibuki said with forced anger.

"Thanks a bunch. That really helped," Naruto replied sarcastically.

Then, Suien's voice rang in their ears, "SHIIBUUKKKIIIIIIII!!!!!! I knew you are hiding because I can't see you!!! I thought you ninjitsu, remember? How about a jug of Hero's Condensed Milk for a payment?"

Naruto and Shibuki listened with impatience. _Why don't he just start the countdown and get it over with?_

"SHIIBUUKKKIIIIIIIII!!!! I will kill this little girl if you don't give me the Hero's Condensed Milk!!! I'll only give you twenty seconds! One-thousand one…!!!"

"Alas, the countdown!" Naruto squealed in delight. "Let's wait until he's down to the last seconds and I'll come down so you can have the spotlight."

"Okay," Shibuki nodded, arranging his face into a sentimental mode.

"One-thousand eighteen, one-thousand nineteen, one-thousand twenty!!!! I'LL KILL THIS GIRL NO- WHAT?!?" Suien's jaw dropped, mouthing wordlessly as he watched Naruto jump down from nowhere.

"Uzumaki Naruto, twenty-two years old. Yoroshiku!"

"Hey, you're not twenty-two years old and that's my line!" Eikichi Onizuka, who was hiding in the trees and waiting there for months just to find an opportunity to say that line, snarled.

"Who the heck cares, anyway? I'm the main protagonist! Now Suien, threaten that girl again so I can save her!"

"Your wish is my command," Suien said, bowing to Naruto before pointing a knife to the girl who was not making any effort to struggle for release. Naruto took it as his go signal and plunged himself to Suien and got stabbed by his knife instead.

"Narutooooooo!!!!!" Sakura yelled, not because she cared but just to let everyone know that she was still there.

"Baka!" Sasuke hissed, watching everything with pure boredom.

Suien beat Naruto until he was almost worn-out while Shibuki was doing a dramatic monologue inside his hiding place. He was reciting Edgar Allan Poe's _"The Cask of Amontillado"_ but forgot the lines halfway so he just drank a drop of the Hero's Condensed Milk and jumped down to the village with a dashing ten-times stronger chakra.

"Suieeeeennnnn!!!!! Let's get this story to a conclusion so I can see hottie Kakashi again! Take this!!!" Shibuki pulled out a milk-white sword and thrust it to Suien, with Voltes V's opening theme playing in the background. "My ultra-electro Condensed Milk swoooord!!!!!!"

"Huh! Don't think you're the only one who can do that! Take this!!!" he too pulled out an equally milk-white but undoubtedly sharper sword, with Voltes V's opening theme still playing in the background. "My super-mega-ultra-electro Condensed Milk sword!!!!!" and Suien stabbed Shibuki's side, who gradually lost his ten-times stronger chakra.

"Arggggggggghhhhhh!!!!!!!!"

"Alas!" Suien roared triumphantly. "I finally got the Hero's Condensed Milk!!!" And without further ado he drank half of it in one gulp. "Ahhh!!! I'm ten times stronger now!"

"S-sasuke, I-I-I'll cut th-that rooope n-now! Pro-Protect thiiis villaaage f-from thaaat lunatic!" Shibuki cried and Sasuke finally got free from the rope.

"Okay, let's beat this guy up with love-filled cooperation, Naruto," Sasuke said.

(_NarutoxSasuke shippers: gasp)_

"Hai, Sasuke," said Naruto, who was wound-free again. The two Konoha ninjas attacked the ridiculously Hero's-Condensed-Milk-obsessed Suien. After another few minutes of fighting, with Naruto's ass-kicking Kage Bunshin no Jutsu, Sasuke's fire element, and Suien finding out that the milk already spoiled, the plot finally came into a conclusion.

"Th-this Hero's Condensed Milk… d-don't tell me it's e-expired!!!" the dying Suien said.

"What do you expect?" Shibuki, who was perfectly healthy again for some unknown reasons, snapped. "It's one hundred years old, of course it already spoiled!"

"Ahhh!!! I'm dying!!!" Suien shrieked, clutching his aching tummy. Unable to take the acrobats his insides were doing he ran into the forests and released his burden.

"We did it! We did it! Hurray!" Naruto and Sasuke with Dora the Explorer and her gang joining them.

"Yosh! Took you quite a long time to conclude this episode," the hottie Kakashi-sensei greeted.

"Kakashi-kun!!!" Shibuki squealed.

"Kakashi-sensei! I'm still in this story!" Sakura blurted out of nothing sensible to say.

"Arigatou!" the two brats said, gratefully bowing their heads.

"Let's go now," Sasuke said dully, signing a piece of paper Naruto handed to him.

"Wait, I have to step on a dog shit again!" cried Naruto, still staring at Sasuke's '_Shaider'_ autograph.

"But there are no more dog shits around, somebody gathered it for composting," Kakashi explained. The two brats' face fell for they loved the dog-shit-punchline so much. Naruto, however, was furious because he stepped on a dog shit earlier for nothing.

"You could step on Suien's shits if you're that desperate," Sasuke suggested.

"Never mind."

[Ending song plays]

[STOP]

[The Author and her Onii-chan: What the fck…?!"]

[Onii-chan: Prepare for flames now, sis.]

[The Author: Hai… cries buckets of tears]

THE END [sigh]


End file.
